What kind of marriage do you want to have? In twenty years, what do you want your marriage to look like? Whenever I ask this question, certain answers quickly rise to the surface, and they are consistently the same. In twenty years:
I want my mate to be my best friend.
I want to still be able to laugh and enjoy life together.
I want a marriage of absolute trust because I know my partner is committed to me alone.
I want to feel affirmed instead of attacked, understood rather than demeaned, respected instead of depreciated. I want our home to be a place of refuge, not a place of chaos.
I want a marriage characterized by resolved conflict, not a constant fighting or hiding behind hurts and misunderstandings.
I want us to be a team, not two people going in different directions.
I want a marriage characterized by honesty and transparency, where sin can be exposed and forgiven, and wounds can be healed.
I want a marriage that encourages me to be a better person and inspires me to use my gifts to their fullest potential.
If you are a man, you want a wife who has chosen to make you and your children the top priority of her life. You want a woman who will honor you and encourage your leadership. You want her to understand and value your masculinity. You want her to be tender and teachable.
If you are a woman, you want a husband who has chosen to make you and your children the top priority in his life. You want him to value you, listen to you, love you, lead you, protect you, and embrace your femininity. You want him to be tender and teachable.
You want your kids to look at your marriage and say, “That’s the kind of marriage I want to have someday.”
This kind of marriage is an uncommon union.
An excerpt from How to Ruin Your Life by 40 by Steve Farrar